Managing Overwhelm & Its Emotional Toll
“Managing overwhelm isn’t about mastering time; it’s about honoring energy. Our nervous systems deserve the same care we give our careers, our children, and our clients.”
A few weeks ago, I attended a VC operators conference I join each year. (The event fills all my cups - professionally, socially, emotionally, and even spiritually, if you can believe it!) One day I sat in a session about prioritizing effectively. While constructive, the session actually bummed me out. It underscored just how overworked so many of us are. It’s the product of living in a complex world and also how we respond to the constant stimuli and demands around us.
In a smaller breakout, I started to share with a colleague what tools and practices have helped me mitigate the damaging effects of burnout, particularly its emotional toll. I realized then that I hadn’t taken the time to really parse and name the tools I’ve learned over the years. I’d also lost my voice at that point (thanks to straining it in a super loud setting the previous night - IYKYK), so I’m pretty sure I didn’t inspire anyone in the moment.
The reality is, I’ve navigated my fair share of high-stress dynamics, albeit first-world, ultra-privileged ones. I don’t add that caveat to minimize my journey; rather, I recognize the access and resources that have softened the blows of overwhelm. But the reality and the potential perils of burnout are no less real.
My first job out of college was as an investment banking analyst. I spent countless nights in the office, showered at the gym the next morning, and often bought a new set of clothes at the nearby Banana Republic.
In my mid-30s, I worked full-time at Twitter while commuting to Chicago, London, and Hong Kong to earn my MBA. That was the year I surpassed 100k in air miles.
Neither of these experiences was brain surgery, but neither was a leisurely stroll. And now, my most valuable (and demanding) role as a single mom rounds out my life experience as someone who has done hard things.
I’ve reflected a lot lately on how I preserve my peace. I didn’t have this arsenal as a 22-year-old analyst or even when I was juggling work and school across time zones. But today, these five tools (with practice and consistency) have proven wildly effective in managing both our plates and our nervous systems.
1. Ongoing triage & regular communication
Eisenhower said, “What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important,” inspiring the creation of the Eisenhower Matrix. Of course, we live in a world where some tasks are both urgent and important, which is why it helps to revisit what truly needs to be addressed now, what can wait, what can be delegated, and what can be dropped entirely.
Whatever matrix or planning system we use, it’s critical to revisit it regularly. Our world and needs are ever-changing, so our priorities must be flexible too.
As my own boss, I call all the shots, which can be both liberating and dangerous. There’s no one to set deadlines or check in on my progress, so I review my priorities weekly to make sure I’m managing time intentionally.
Set up a rhythm with yourself, your team, or your family (even if it feels like overkill) to revisit what’s on the slate and how resources are being used. Overcommunication prevents chaos. Ninety-nine percent of fire drills happen because someone failed to plan. Triage and talk, and you’ll stay out of the 99%.
2. Nonnegotiable grounding habits
This one’s personal. Most of us have those few things that anchor us: meditation, solitude, a walk, music, or prayer. For me, it’s quality sleep and movement, with a heavy bias toward HIIT (specifically, Barry’s). I say the red room is my church because it’s not just physical; it’s where I clear my mind and experience true somatic release.
If I’m not moving or sleeping well, I’m at a deficit. (I’m actually at one right now - my two darling children have been sharing my bed, and it turns out a king isn’t big enough.)
No matter how my circumstances shift, sleep and movement remain nonnegotiable. During the pandemic, when I couldn’t make it to the red room, I turned to Melissa Wood Health workouts (still a staple in my life). Sleep is harder to control, but I remind myself that the season of disrupted rest isn’t forever. Even ten minutes lying horizontally on my couch can do wonders for my nervous system.
Figure out your nonnegotiables, and carve out time, space, and freedom so they’re only minimally disturbed.
3. Clear & respected boundaries
This one’s hard, especially for a recovering people-pleaser. We live in a global work culture where it’s always “business hours” somewhere. If we don’t declare our sacred time, no one else will.
In my last role, business calls often spilled into family time (dinners, evenings, weekends). Once I found the courage, I shared with my team that those hours were off-limits unless something was truly urgent. Dinner and bedtime were the rare windows when my whole family was together, and I wasn’t willing to give that up.
It’s easy to gaslight ourselves about boundaries, to feel guilty for having them. I used to convince myself that I was being inflexible, when in reality, people respected my clarity. It can take time for others’ habits to adjust, but they do. Boundaries invite respect.
4. Personas to split the burden
Okay, this one’s a little weird, but it works. My days are full of constant theme-switching: work projects, kids’ activities, home chores, legal affairs, and life admin. That cognitive whiplash is exhausting, so I’ve learned to separate my “selves” into modes: Caretaker Tina, Fitness Tina, Investor Tina, Homemaker Tina, Business Tina, Chill Tina, Party Tina.
When I finish emails and need to fold a mountain of laundry, I literally say, “Okay, Business Tina, great job. Time to switch to Homemaker Tina for fifteen minutes.” It’s silly, but it helps me reset. Each persona gets its turn. If I have drinks scheduled and have no idea how I will get there, I invite Party Tina, turn on some great music, and doll myself up.
Focusing on one “chapter” of tasks at a time helps me stay present, reduces overwhelm, and gives me micro-bursts of recovery between roles.
5. Acceptance & moving with life’s flow
During that same conference session, someone reminded us that in busy seasons, especially in VC, we should remember that slower times will inevitably come.
This applies everywhere. Life’s pace ebbs and flows, often within the same day. My kids push me harder than any boss ever could; it’s no wonder my nervous system is fried by 8 PM 5PM. But when I’m deep in the chaos, I remind myself: in a few hours, we’ll all be asleep, and my body and mind will rest. Those quieter moments feel sweeter when we allow ourselves to fully live the noisy ones.
Nothing stays the same. Not the frenzy, not the stillness. When we learn to move with life’s natural rhythm, we suffer less and adapt faster.
Managing overwhelm isn’t about mastering time; it’s about honoring energy. It’s the conscious choice to treat our nervous systems as sacred - to give them the same care we give our careers, children, or clients.
As I continue navigating work, parenthood, and all the messy in-betweens, I remind myself that resilience isn’t a static trait. It’s built in small, daily acts of alignment: triaging with intention, moving my body, protecting my peace, and surrendering to the flow of what is.
Honor your nonnegotiables. Stand firm in your boundaries. And take a breath - the world will actually still be there, intact, when you’re done recalibrating.
